Why I smoke?

     90% of the time I smoked I was alone, by my self. In my work place, I am very busy all day long. Every time I got a chance to sneak out of my boss sight, I go smoke. I love my girl friend. She doesn't like me to smoke. I hate to make her mad and upset every time she caught me smoking. People that are close to me like my family and relatives absolutely don't approve my smoking behavior. But I still could not stop smoking. Every time I got a chance to be alone, I smoke. It seems like the pressure of not having approval from the people around me makes me smoke more. But that's one reason.

     I like to smoke with a friend while I'm talking to him. At that moment, a cigarette seems to act like a social bond. We seem to understand each other more. I feel like we are having something in common. I like to smoke with someone who is older than me for the same reason. 

     Strangely, I smoke less when I'm in a good mood. I smoke a lot when I'm bored, stressed and sad. Honestly, I don't like smoking in the first place. I know a lot of teenagers try to smoke to show off and end up got addicted to it. But that is not the case. I admit I got addicted to the taste. Yet, there is something else in a cigarette that I need. A friend? I might be wrong. But that is the best word I can find to define what a cigarette means to me. 

     How could it be a friend if it could possibly cause me cancer? This is the key. When you were a kids, do you ever like a friend who invite you to join his naughty plan. I do. When one comes up with a great idea or a thrilling adventure. All the other kids love it even though there might be consequences. We always have fun doing that until we got caught and got punished. A cigarette acts just like that good old friend. And when you decide to join him, do you ever think about the consequence? 

     So if anyone tries to tell me to quit smoking. I would just smile. Because there are moments, a cigarette is all I need.